turning pink

My son having finished his exams and begun to turn from white to pinkish as he is exposed to the elements again. Watching him go through exams brings back that sickening feeling I had when I did mine...
The prayer I prayed, "lord don't teach me a lesson this time"
The deals I made... "one more page and then another polo mint."
But above all that sense of guilt that there must be something more I should have done.
I guess that still drives me now.
In the meantime the boy has a new suit, shirt and tie and is about to get his hair cut... Ready to face that other nightmare of my youth... Dances.

I must try and hide my fear on his behalf, after all I met his mum at a school dance. Who knows what could change tonight?
Maybe just another opportunity to turn a bit more pink!

The value of sleep

The end of another overwhelming week sends me back to the blog and try and make some sense of it all. The highlight of the week is the progression of the hall project and the arrival of the lighting posts on the square. They are very big! When you chose these things they are three centimetres tall and in a catalogue. They arrive five metres tall and nearly as big as the hall. There are a forest of them too, I think there may be some noisy discussion about them… well at least they make the trees look small.
The depth of the week came when I took a funeral of a young man who had ended his own life. Thursday lunchtime saw hundreds of people of all ages packed the church as all of us felt the weight of what had happened. There was no anger, there was little despair, there was a lot of love. We listened to his friends, we heard his music and we found comfort in the passage from Romans that tells us… “nothing can separate us from the love of God” not even I declared what we do to ourselves or what is done to us.
By three o’clock I was home and turning grey, by the time Catherine was home I was despatched to bed to sleep for twelve hours. The exhaustion came from sheer emotion and trying to carry a community in it’s grief.
A better day today, it's amazing what sleep can do. Talking of which it's time for bed.

learning

It's been a complex few weeks as what I predicted at the AGM has begun to happen. Tiny cracks and fissures begin to open up as project fatigue begins to bite.
It's because, I think people have forgotten how bad things were before we started but are niggled by the fact that it's not perfect yet.
There's an argument that this is the period of the churches history... Caught between the now of Jesus coming and the not yet of his return to finish the job.
I am reminded of what Desmond Tutu said when asked what Nelson Mandela had achieved in his long imprisonment... "he learnt to forgive."
I hope that we are learning that too.