Thursday, 24 September 2009
I'm moving!
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
turning pink
The prayer I prayed, "lord don't teach me a lesson this time"
The deals I made... "one more page and then another polo mint."
But above all that sense of guilt that there must be something more I should have done.
I guess that still drives me now.
In the meantime the boy has a new suit, shirt and tie and is about to get his hair cut... Ready to face that other nightmare of my youth... Dances.
I must try and hide my fear on his behalf, after all I met his mum at a school dance. Who knows what could change tonight?
Maybe just another opportunity to turn a bit more pink!
Friday, 12 June 2009
The value of sleep
The depth of the week came when I took a funeral of a young man who had ended his own life. Thursday lunchtime saw hundreds of people of all ages packed the church as all of us felt the weight of what had happened. There was no anger, there was little despair, there was a lot of love. We listened to his friends, we heard his music and we found comfort in the passage from Romans that tells us… “nothing can separate us from the love of God” not even I declared what we do to ourselves or what is done to us.
By three o’clock I was home and turning grey, by the time Catherine was home I was despatched to bed to sleep for twelve hours. The exhaustion came from sheer emotion and trying to carry a community in it’s grief.
A better day today, it's amazing what sleep can do. Talking of which it's time for bed.
Friday, 5 June 2009
learning
It's because, I think people have forgotten how bad things were before we started but are niggled by the fact that it's not perfect yet.
There's an argument that this is the period of the churches history... Caught between the now of Jesus coming and the not yet of his return to finish the job.
I am reminded of what Desmond Tutu said when asked what Nelson Mandela had achieved in his long imprisonment... "he learnt to forgive."
I hope that we are learning that too.
Sunday, 24 May 2009
Consultation
I have had a cough/cold now for over a week and so I am still punctuating everything I say with a… cough. It’s half term which give me opportunity to catch up on a few missed days off.
There was quite a bit of discussion this morning at church about the three sculptures that have been submitted for the square. Two are a bit phallic and one is a bit boring seemed to be the verdict but they haven’t seen the full set of documents yet nor met the sculptors so hopefully there’s time yet. The biggest criticism is that they are not very Christian or more precisely they are not explicit enough in their symbolism.
This is a hard one… is St Paul’s Cathedral explicitly Christian? A church tower, a spire a Celtic cross which many claim is pagan in origin.
“We don’t want to have to explain it to people” someone said.
It’s going to be an interesting few weeks as we “consult” which is the latest euphemism for having a friendly row!
Thursday, 14 May 2009
Doing our best
It takes a lot of energy to do this. Much of this work would be greatly helped by everyone involved assuming that everyone else involved was actually trying to do their best.
We are trained to be suspicious of each other by the media, by our culture, and sadly by our experience of being let down. It's part of the Christian discipline to forgive and begin again and one which I will continue to have to practice.
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Niggles
The heating is off for its summer holiday and those who have cast a clout even though May is not out are complaining at the cold in church.
"why are there not double sinks in the kitchen?"
"because we have a dishwasher."
This is afternoon things improve with youth group spending a cheerful couple of hours planning a prayer space upstairs in the new hall.
Then off to visit my son Ben in hospital, a bit sore and a lot miserable at a post operative infection raging through his body. At the end of the visit he is able to walk us to the lift and give us big hugs. Once again I am struck by the way in which the sick care for the well.
Now I am back at church enjoying a concert by really good amateurs and reflecting on the beauty of the church and valuing space and stillness in a mad busy day.
I have just won a coffee cake in a raffle, life is improving!
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Democracy Matters
As we become a less mobile population we might need to return to the concept of the parish.
Top quote for the evening belongs to Harold Wilson in whose name the lecture took place.
“He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.”
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Benchmark
The square is beginning to take place and I am currently sat on one of the new benches in the sunshine drinking ginger beer and wondering if life gets any better.
This morning we have been with the finance people from Yorkshire Forward thinking we may need to do the hard sell on what remains of the project... As it turns out unnecessarily as it turns out what has so far been achieved sells itself.
The next big task, as well as finishing is to learn how to make this work. Like people moving from a pushbike to a Ferrari it's going to be hard to raise our game, but our journey so far encourages me to be hopeful.
Friday, 10 April 2009
An Inconvenient Truth
Okay a week of Sundays!
Rather because it makes us face up to two aweful truths, our sin and what it cost Jesus to deal with it.
What's hard for me is not so much the dying but the suffering of Jesus...
It goes on and on like a car crash in slow motion with us helpless spectator.
It's Friday but Sundays coming!
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Code of Silence
We sit in silence and try not to catch one another's eye. Forty minutes have passed already and nobody has yet to break the code of silence.
My phone goes and I have to answer... Catherine is in a café but I am holding my ground.
Saturday, 4 April 2009
leaving
A first home, even a rented one is an important step, and although they have done this once already to their flat in London the house seems especially exciting.
Makes me think about the numerous people for whom the crunch means this is an impossible dream.
The bible has no formula for a wedding but that someone leaves their family and cleaves to their wife.
Today feels like a proper leaving and a lovely thing too!
Friday, 3 April 2009
Finished
Wh oknows what they might become next!
Out of the Ordinary – Finished!
I wish I had a pound for every time someone asked me when the work at Mytholmroyd would be finished. It sounds such an easy question but it is actually very hard to answer. Of course with any building projects you have deadlines and builder’s promises but it is never an exact science. If I had another five pound for every time someone asked me if or when we were going to start work on the church in Cragg Vale I would be very rich indeed. The answer to both is that I don’t know, but also in a way I am not that bothered.
Generally speaking I don’t like finishing things, preferring the ongoing story rather than the complete one. I think that’s why when it comes to novels I like to read ones that are part of a series, so that after you have invested a great deal of effort in getting to know a character you are able to continue the relationship in the next book. My son, an avid reader, is always really sad when he finishes a book that he won’t continue the friendship with the characters he has met. Maybe that’s the attraction of soap operas, we never have to say goodbye.
It’s the run up to Easter and one thing has struck me this year about the words of Jesus on the cross. At the very end he says: “It is finished” and then he dies. Scholars have debated for ages about what he meant. The obvious understanding would be that his life is finished. However he doesn’t say “I am finished!” but “it is finished.” The consensus now is that Jesus was saying that he has finished the job he came to do.
Earlier in John’s Gospel we read the very familiar words that outline Jesus’ mission: “
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. John 3:16-17 (KJV)
Jesus came to save the world and the cross was the means by which he did it. Somehow he took the punishment, which because of our sin was meant to be ours, on himself: replacing us at the last minute because of his love.
Like all the best stories although the work was done the story continued with the resurrection. The work and the story continue in us as we find our way to Jesus and experience that new life for ourselves.
“It is finished!” the last words of the story of our salvation but not the last words of our relationship with God through Jesus.
I hope that you find you place in God’s story this Easter time and that you remain, like me, a work in progress.
Thursday, 2 April 2009
finishing
I am sat in a café waiting for Catherine to finish work so that I can take her home. We are down to one car which takes some organising. It's been an interesting morning with a small group of Rural Deans who on the whole are a positive bunch but like everyone else are capable of joining the chorus of "Nobody knows the trouble I see."
The first draft of the book is printed and there for anyone to see. I haven't had the courage to show it to anyone yet though I have pointed at it!
Finishing things is hard...
Everything except blogs!
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Passion
Yesterday I was talking with a group of clergy about passion when someone became very upset. I think what pushed the button was thinking about passions, clearly many of those present felt that what they were passionate about as clergy had been blocked out by the other things they were being asked to do.
Today I talked to a brilliant teacher who felt that they were being forced out of working with the children that they loved in order to deal with all the other stuff thrown at them by their job.
Are we destined to lose the bit of the job we love in order to do the job we get paid for?
I hope not… today I was able to be the working, passionate priest out and about helping people.
No wonder I feel better.
Monday, 23 March 2009
Betraying the other woman
I ended up oscilating between Barry White and Barry Humphries!
Comedy voices appart it was the first "significant" Sunday in ages since the sabbatical when I have been not present at one of my churches. It felt a bit weird to get up late and only visit one of the two communities I hang out with. How people cope when they have a multiplicity of congregations cope I don't know.
Catherine always reckons that Cragg is my other woman... I missed her yesterday and so next week I'll need to take flowers.
Thursday, 19 March 2009
Friendship
What Clare has needed has been friendship... Or as they call them "people who give unconditional positive regard."
It's been hard for me not to wade in with an unhelpful prophetic voise in what has been a pastoral situation.
As I sat with a slightly mottley and yet heroic collection of humanity I allowed myself a moment of reflection of how this would appear to others only to stop myself. What others will think is always the wrong question. The right question is always what's right.
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
leadership
It brought up an age old problem of those in leadership... To what extent does your competency make others incompetent? If a church has a gifted evangelist does that mean others stop sharing their faith? If a community has an effective project champion does that mean that nobody else need drive it forward? I always thought that effective leadership was that which lead by example... You model by good example and people do as you do and not just as you say.
Paul writes of Jesus that he emptied himself taking the form of a servant. Deliberately Jesus chooses to be less so that we might be more. He chose to leave his people so that we might grow up and with the help of the Holy Spirit change the world.
Today I am on a train running away to Manchester to see a film about superhumans...that should bring me back down to earth.
Saturday, 14 March 2009
1970's revisited
It seems very important in this week when we have seen violence in Ireland again. Is it just me or have we just leapt back fo the 1970s?
We have a recession.
We have violence in Ireland.
There is even talk of opening the mines in South Yorkshire!
Not the same because we meet today in wakefield Catholics and Anglicans.
We build or business centre in our church.
Both communities in Ireland are not rising to the call to arms.
As the bishop said:"We are not strangers but friends."
Friday, 13 March 2009
Roller Coaster
Many years ago, another time, another lifetime really I can remember getting fed up with the sheer effort of living. I went to a talk, the speaker said: "if you don't want your life give it to someone else."
For me it was a start of a roller coaster life that saw me in the centre of Manchester, working with students and coming to Mytholmroyd.
I am still working out the consequences of 'giving my life away.'
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Dancing on buses
It's been a calmer day so far, with a great deal of fun chosing hymns with my organist Denis this morning.
"Donald won't like that one!" he says.
I reply that as far as I know we're not trying to please Donald!
Set me to contemplating who we are trying to please with our worship.
Is God really sat in heaven like a cosmic simon cowell.
"oh, I like that one" God says as we burst into Thine be the glory.
I like the idea of worship being like a dance. We make a stumbling kind of a move and God ever the expert dancer is able through their skill to make us look good.
I suddenly have a vision of the people on the bus as sitting like wallflowers round the room while God and I take the floor.
So to the wall flowers around the edge... I wish I had the guts to ask
Come and join us in the dance.
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Two days in one
Back to home to print off papers and off to lead clergy chapter in a cheerful lunchtme meeting looking at our plans for the restructuring of the deanery.
An important pastoral one to one was followed by a 4.00p.m. Chairing of a meeting with British Waterways and a few excited people to talk about the linear park based on the canal.
6.00p.m. I snatch 25 minutes for the loo and a ready meal from the local shop then the handover meeting for the new church treasurer.
8.00 p.m. pastoral chat about life the universe and children then a pick up and return home for 10.30p.m.
An hour picking up e-mails and making phone calls before bath and now bed.
Fifteen hours leaves me energised and busy headed and prayerful as I review the day and pray for those I met.
Monday, 2 March 2009
Fasting
I am trying something new with a stab at fasting. I always felt in the past that fasting was the Violet Elizabeth approach to prayer. If God doesn't give you what you want you'll scream and scream and make youself sick. Of course it's not that but rather something which frees you to think and pray...
Mostly I am thinking about
Food!
Not really: So far so good.
only problem is you're not supposed to tell anyone.Try refusing Lunch without saying why!
Saturday, 28 February 2009
Men
Not sure why men are so bad at building friendships but it must be something to do with our lack of enthusiasm for organising them.
Maybe when we create our new square it will give us an excuse to get together...
No, I am not convinced either.
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
water
I can't remember who said that what affected politics most was events but the same goes for projects as well.
It is impossible to plan for crises but the best teams, and ours is pretty good rise to the occasion.
The word is that we can pour the concrete this week...
Sunday, 22 February 2009
Sunday
Church found us finally back in the church after our waterworks crisis which is still not completely over.
Then lunch with a lovely couple to discuss their marriage,they seem really happy and as friends it's nice to see them grow in love.
Then on to the end of a lady's 52 year marriage with her husband's death.
I am always amazed to hear people's work path.
Navy at 17 leaving Mytholmroyd for the tail end of war with Japan.
Metropolitan police at 22 where he had to grow a moustache because he looked too young.
At 24 he was sent to a convalescent home to recover from TB he had contracted from tramps and "other low life."
At 26 and with only.one lung he was sent back north "back to his native air" on doctor's recommendation.
At 27 he trained as a bookeeper, going on to be the finance director of a local large firm.
I wonder what some of our local finance sector would make of this man's ability to switch career.
I wonder what I would have done with his disabilities.
His final act of generosity was to leave his body to science... We need a few more like him.
Thursday, 19 February 2009
crunched
As a project it appears to be a great success as they were queuing around the car park.
We decided to go to the café and shop as it would have cost us £27 for three of us! But still it was very good!
On the way back we called into Beverley... A proper market town although a little credit crunched. so shut woolworths, shut viyella and numeerous other chains shut.
It made me glad that Hebden Bridge has independent shops.
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
sitting on the porch waiting for spring
I have just come away from a meeting of Royd Regeneration one of the companies I am invovled in. It has been mostly good news tonight or at least glimmers of hope.
It feels very spring like as I listen to the bell ringers practising and the sound of returning geese flying by.
It feels very spring like as projects start to grow.
We are ready for a change.
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Faith Led Regeneration Honoured by Prime Ministerial Visit
Liam Byrne, Minister for the Cabinet Office, said:
“We’ve doubled government help to charities, voluntary group and social enterprises from £5.5 billion to over £11 billion. That means these vital groups face the downturn with unprecedented strength.
“The best of the British spirit is the way we pull together when times are tough. And its Britain’s charities, voluntary groups and social enterprises that so often make that happen.
“We’ve been monitoring daily what’s happening to donations and demands for new services, and with incredible support from the sector we’re launching a lazer-targeted package of help with tens of millions extra for charities providing employment advice, mental health and family support services in the most deprived areas of England and Wales, plus millions extra to help those out of work start volunteering.”
“Britain can beat this downturn. Just like we’ve beaten everything else this world has thrown at us in the decades gone by. But we’ll win by pulling together. Not by facing the storm alone”.
http://www.cabinetoffice.gov.uk/third_sector/news/news_stories/090209_real_help.aspx
It’s a lovely promise, but what a shame that at no point is it mentioned in any new report that Bromley By Bowe is a faith led community enterprise, set up by United Reformed Minister Andrew Mawson, now Lord Mawson. The contribution of faith to regeneration once again lost in the phrase Third Sector.
I spotted Lord Mawson in the back of the photos, smiling I think at yet another government initiative launched at Bromley by Bowe and ignoring its principals and origin.
Does it matter?
Probably not, but it would be a tremendous encouragement to those of us who have glimpsed a vision of Faith led Renaissance and started to build if we had a star to look at.
I like writing. It might be rubbish but it's my rubbish!
I met with Margi who is a proper writer and a proper friend, the kind who knows you better than you do.
"Go home and forget it for two weeks " she advises.
David my learning mentor wants to look at it but it's my newborn baby and it doesn't know how to walk yet. Besides I don't have his e-mail with me. So for now it is mine only and for now my audience is found, my audience is me!
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
TLA'S
Three letter acronyms!
Monday, 9 February 2009
The plot thickens
Murder Mystery
Bar Convent is proving to be an ideal place to work although I am not sure why. The room I am in has a kind of benign sensory deprivation as I sit on the bed and work on the "bigger" table man handled into the room last night by probably the poshest housekeeper I have ever met. She had a wonderful Agatha Christie Miss Marple Quality that makes me feel I might be the silent witness in some evolving mystery. Who are the Koreans they are having "so much trouble with" are they beginning to disappear or is it just my imagination... and the biggest mystery of all: where have all the customers in the queue at Bettys gone?
Now you know why I came out for a walk!
Sunday, 8 February 2009
Wrong turn, write place
Due to a fault of my map reading, I turned right not left I went round in a circle to the Bar Convent, taking twenty five minutes to get to the convent. I arrived looking like a snowman, and dripped my way into the hospiality of the convent which wrapped me like a great blanket.
Two hours later I am ready for bed and, with 500 words already, ready to write.
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Surprises
Yesterday morning my Aunty Babs was crossing the road when a driver bumped into her, a low impact, which normally would have led to a paiful time in hospital...
But as she fell... She banged her head so it was to ICU she went. Like the man I had visited before, as I visited her last night she would come round soon.
This morning they switched off her life support and she died.
Shock doesn't express how I feel... Derailed is more like it. In the midst of life there it is... A reminder that 'we are but grass, the wind blows over it and it is gone and its place remembers it no more. But the merciful goodness of the Lord endures.'
I will miss my Aunty Babs.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Audience
In a amongst a site meeting is happening in a cold vast hall with the red glow of the psychological heaters... It's a bit fraught but we are getting there as is my train which makes speedy progree to a meeting Rhona at Yorkshire Forward.
I am hoping to clear up what or rather to whom I am writing. Knowing your audience is meant to be the key question when you write... But I have at least three groups in mind: people of faith, people in regeneration, politicians, and of course I am probably writing for my mum!
Whatever, I know I ned to get it out of my system and the energy of that itch that must be scratched will I hope make it happen.
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Conversations
I now understand that I have had three life changing people encounters: Sheikh Noah in Yemen, Lyn Arnold in Australia and John Arnold in Michigan.
I have also realised I have three "big ideas" Partnership, planning through, and building capacity. Other issues include the origins of the loss of Confidence in UK faith communities. Suspicion by district councils of churches. Theological reasons for engagement.
There is more ! But I need a few more conversations!
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Changed
It resonates with the many experiences I have had this last year.
The goodness I have seen in the lives of faithful people.
The tremendous hospitality of ordinary people.
The tremendous uselessness of what passes for government in a lot of places
And the inadequacy of what we are doing here, right now.
And also the tremendous stuff done by a few
And the bright possibilities of changing the world beginning with Mytholmroyd.
Hmmn, still haven’t got it out of my system.
Monday, 2 February 2009
Scary
It wasn’t going for a walk with Catherine in the snow in the dark that was quite delightful actually. It was fun to watch the snow flakes chasing each other around the lamposts adn to slide along in your wellies and boots.
No the scary thing was booking some time away from the parish to write. Next week I am going to spend Sunday to Friday in York working on my publication. It’s a big leap of faith for me in so many ways… almost as much at the trips abroad.
The thing is that after this amazing year I am a sponge full of stuff that I hope could help others and which if I don’t get it out of my system I will always regret. So I am going to Bar Convent and I hope I can work.
But I don't know if I can become a writing machine.
Every walk of a thousand miles…
Every work of a thousand pages (?) begins with just one word…
Any how one things for certain it will answer once and for all the nagging question in many people's minds adn in mine lately:
Could I,
should I
write?
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Older Generation
"Why don't you come into the warmth?"
"We went through the war."
As I walk away laughing I hear them laughing back... "young people today, no stamina!"
Saturday, 31 January 2009
a Yorkshireman again
Tonight it's off to Bradford to my mum's for a hearty tea that reminds me of childhood. She is the only person I know who can successfully pull off sausage,lasagne and baked beans.
This is followed by a trip to bradford university to hear a brass band concert that my son is playing in. Suddenly I feel like a Yorkshireman again!
Pass me my flat cap and recapture my whippet!
Friday, 30 January 2009
Drains
There was a lot of fun today as I went to visit a couple at Cragg who are giving thanks for their child. They are unusual even by our local standards as he is from London and she is from Kyoto, Japan though she came here to school when she was fifteen. The baby is very cute and very content gurgling on the carpet and periodically performing her latest trick: rolling over.
There is harder talk as dad explains his role in the global economy in the strategy department of the banking industry.
Their house is on the market and they might go back to Japan which is a pity as talent drains out of our community. Also a pity because this is the first time I have met them in five years they have lived in our community of 600 people.
Reversing this drain needs for us to create community and maybe Sunday will begin to do this for our family as they are introduced to their God and their community.
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Unpredictable
I am not sure how it works but it goes something like…
our builder sub contracted a plumber who thought he could do the three boilers but despite thinking he could…
he couldn’t so that we now have no heating in the church or the hall.
He has “gone off” and our builders have now had to find another plumber or plumbers (not sure which) to finish the job.
Also the gas board were meant to send three different gas people: number one two three, but man two came before man one and therefore they couldn’t do the job!
I know have to handle the many people who understandably are upset about it.
They are not upset about the snag but rather the unpredicatability of it.
Funny thing, people can cope with change if they know it's coming.
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Age
Afternoon saw me taking the funeral of a 97 year old man and left me reflecting on my life as less than half done! He was married to his second wife as long as I have been to Catherine although he didn’t meet her till he was in his seventies. Hard to imagine such a long innings.
Tonight the children made a birthday tea for Catherine who funnily enough is half the age of the man who died…
I probably shouldn’t reveal stuff like that!
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Hate
What can we do...
"Report it to sort it and we will support it."
Not a bad strap line given by a rap poet today.
Hate crime - need to deal with the hate.
Where does hate come from?
Too easy to say difference causes it.
"We don't have a race problem because we are all white here."
Too easy to say it's poverty or background.
In the bible we are told that hate came in when Cain envied Able.
Doesn't help finding another cause.
How do we deal with envy?
An end to it all this happens when as an individual I chose not to hate, I chose not to envy.
Monday, 26 January 2009
Just a bit of fun
I come away wondering how many are carrying the scars of these early assaults...
Not just childish pranks I think.
Hard to win the argument when similar humiliations occur on reality tv almost every day.
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Todmorden
Over 200 people turned up with a brass band and a local gospel choir as we heard of all that people of faith have done.
I was launching a faithworks group in the hope that clustering these projects together we might be able to finally persuade Calderdale of the significance of the work being done.
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Quality Counts
I don't know what makes it so special. I so suppose technically it's a chain... be it a short one of about four cafes. We had to queue for about half an hour and though the queue added to the sense of anticipation I don't think that made it special. The surroundings were beautiful but they are refurbishing at the moment there was quite a bit of building debry around.
No, what makes Betty's special is the quality of the service and the quality of the food.
Perfect coffee, decaff but tasty and rich...
Perfect cake, butter rich and tasty
Perfect service
Perfect hour spent in good company.
Quality is the easiest bit of the renaissance process for us to forget...
But as with Betty's it's what makes the good...
Great!
Friday, 23 January 2009
unconditional love
It made me think we often talk about people's value in terms of what they've done... Or possibly who they've loved. This man's value was almost entirely wrapped up in who loved him. Maybe that was his purpose in life... to be loved unconditionally.
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Enthusiasts
The pub closes at 10 pm, a sign of the times.
Tonight I spent a jolly few hours at a regeneration workshop about companies. I met someone who has a project to grow food in Mytholmroyd. Like a couple of kids we swap our enthusiasm for our community and plot to take over the world...
Well not really, but as someone new to business and someone new to providing space to businesses, we can do...
errr....
business together.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
budget night
For an independent councillor like me, it is particularly baffling because the politics has begun before we get to the meeting and the budget has been fixed by one party but because of the rules we can't see the figures.
Are you lost, so am I...
I better concentrate harder.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Hope
It's a tricky word as so much of what we call hope is actually wishes.
The hope he speaks of is not so much the stuff of dreams but the stuff of work. The kind of stuff that gets you up in the morning. The kind of thing that overcomes our natural tendency to despair.
St Paul siads that love hopes and that hope is the right respone to dificult situations. As people of faith we have much to learn from each other and give to the world about hope.
Monday, 19 January 2009
freedom
Sunday, 18 January 2009
presence
There were some references to world problems and a theme of reconciliation which was hard to criticise.
My mind is elsewhere with Phil and Lisa who run the Dusty Miller, or rather did run it. They transformed our community by their enterprise and hospitality. Now they have to finish, I suspect for financial reasons and they have invited me to a party... I will go to it when I finish here.
Nothing in tonight's service will comfort their pain but maybe the presence of people like me will be the comfort they need.
Presence is a present to others.
I wish I was more present in this service but I am already with Phil and Lisa in my mind.
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Crunch
Depressing because no-one has an answer and funny as people come up with money Saving ideas.
This week the interior design is on Caravan chique! Clothes are all retro and recycled. Food is about stretching your budget further.
Somewhere, somehow you can't help feeling that a more serious conversation and a more dramatic change is needed.
Friday, 16 January 2009
real places real people
Then after prayer it was off to a cheerful rural deans gathering at the archdeacons house where we discussed clergy deployment. It's so easy to forget in strategic discussions that we are talking about real people and real communities.
I guess that goes for all strategic discussions.
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Town Centre Gardener
Robert Warren was speaking and as usual he gave us lots of portable stuff to go away and mull over . One of his gems was that churches are not organisations that need managing but rather organisms that need nurturing, vicars are not managers but rather gardeners or doctors or parents.
It did make me think about communities as well. We often talk about managing the community, we even have town centre managers but the reality a Town Centre Doctor or Gardener might be more appropriate.
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Partners
It's what's known as a partnership meeting and we all sat round a big table ad shared the good news. We're all on first name terms now, connected because of the journey we have taken togther.
It's taken five years to make a partnership... it would tale very little to break it but we're still here.
Monday, 12 January 2009
Reject.
Mind you she has been in a fight with another girl over not a lot really and so the school has given her an exclusion order. But because she is at risk she is excluded in attendance, which I don't understand logically but understand pastorally.
I really like the girl, for all her troubles, she sings and dances and smiles and talks non stop and will be a beautiful woman, if she survives.
I pray tonight she will, the world needs more troubled survivors.
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Migration
It's funny seeing her there it really is her other home. She even canvassed their in the last election.
We passed lots of others on the road making the same journey which made me wonder how many other people are of two fixed abodes? Who migrate between places at different times of the year. It's a very common thing. One lady at my church spends six months in Florida and Six months in britain... guess which months! She is fully part of both commuities.
Place is such a big part of who we are it's easy to foget that for others places is their identity. Maybe we shold be a bit less hard on those transient B & B ers as we call them who live their working in the big city and sleep and eat breakfast in the cottages on our hill sides. The challenge is to how we can make a community with those part time members of it.
Friday, 9 January 2009
Scenery
Coming back down the hill proved to be even more exciting than the intrepid journey up there as out of the frosty mist emerged first a herd of cows and in particular a large cow in the middle of the track.
I knew enough about cows not to peep the horn, so I flashed the lights.... No reaction
I edged the car closer the cow stood it's ground...
I moved closer still... the cow eyed me closer still.
If it could have put its hands on its hips in defiance it would have.
I edged even closer and began to wonder if it had third party insurance if it sat on my bonnet.
Then... Victory!
Slowly but surely it edged to one side.
Vicar one, cow nil... Result.
The cows were there because someone had put some hay out for them another part of this living scenery.
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Public Art
Ooh!
None of us is very sure of what this is but that’s what you need an artist for.
I still like the idea that came up at one meeting to the effect where someone suggested we should have art work so outrageous that everyone talks about that and ignores what else we are doing!
Ever since I heard this I keep walking past public art and wondering whether that’s why it was put there.
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Applause
Like when my four year old asked me when I was at theological college: “Where is God?” I approached my doctrine lecturer who said that was a hard one and over the years I have realised that much of what we think about heaven is not theological but cultural. It’s full of clouds and angels with harps because the Greek heaven was full of these things and we are still essentially a post Greek culture. The bible sees heaven as a city, built by God, with open gates to all point of the compass as a sign of welcome.
Yesterday a good friend asked me why we don’t applaud at funerals. I wasn’t sure but I suspect somewhere deep and culturally funerals are really times for sadness, which is right but also a weird kind of embarrassment because we have failed through our faith, or our intelligence to keep this person alive. Maybe there is a deeper feeling that good people didn’t ought to die and therefore applauding at the funeral, acknowledging that this was a good person, challenges our notions of fairness. If they were good enough to get applause, why weren’t they good enough to live longer?
The bible again is quite clear that our time on earth is fixed by God but is not dependent on our goodness or badness, for all life no matter how short is God’s gift and grace.
Today I conducted the funeral of a youngish father with two small children in front of me. Thinking about what my friend had said about applause I asked the congregation to applaud the diseased so that his children would have something tangible to remember from the service, something that would lodge in their memory to remind them just how much he was loved by others.
It was very moving to see the smiles on their face at this tribute to one of God’s creatures. There might be more applause at future funerals I think.
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
Famous last words
Anyhow I don't get too perturbed because it's an internet station which I have never heard of... So it really doesn't matter what I say, does it?
Famous last words!
Monday, 5 January 2009
Twelfth Night
Tonight it was more of the emotional stuff, heading to the hospital first to see my oldest son who is having a minor procedure then on to see the man in intensive care again. I was surprised how much both visits got to me, something to do with the incredible vulnerability on display… which touched at my vulnerability, unable to fix things, only able to trust.
Tomorrow will have it’s own ups and downs but today has left me a bit ragged.
In addition to this we have taken the decorations down which always makes me a bit sad. so it feels like we are back to once again the depths of winter. The chill of it seems a bit more intense tonight...
Sunday, 4 January 2009
Sabbath
Whilst not the best candidate for day of rest Sundays usually allow one indulgence: the afternoon snooze. Today I had a particularly good one that began with a houseful but ended with just the family left.
The snooze is a great gift from my dad, who without even the drop of a hat could take a quick nap pretty much anywhere.
Wouldn't britain be a better place if we all had an afternoon snooze... An hour of rest even if you don't get an day of it.
Saturday, 3 January 2009
Held in the balance
More of a cold shock when I am called out to visit someone taken suddenly ill and now unconcious in the intensive care unit.
"What did you do?" my wife asked when I returned home.
"The usual."
To hold a hand, to stroke a forehead, to say a prayer and to mark with a cross.
All together commending someone into God's care, who holds their life in the balance.
The truth of course being that for those who believe that's where we always are... whether we acknowledge it or not.
Friday, 2 January 2009
Adventures with my SatNav
On the way home a certain giddiness came over my wife and I, due to the lateness of the hour or the sheer joy of shopping without whinging children and so we decided to follow the SatNav. I have no idea which way we went but given that we started off in completely the opposite direction to that which we would have gone and arrived back home from the North when we had left towards the West we had an exciting adventure in the dark, that was neither illegal, immoral and it didn't make us fat!
Given my usually default position these days of grumpiness it was kind of exhilirating, not least because you were completely in someone or something else's control.
Just a brief glimpse then of the attraction of cults and facist regimes?
Probably not as there was not so much pain involved, more like the attraction of the fair ground where for a few risky moments you put take your life out of your own hands.
That self control that we all love to think we have is almost certainly an illusion but at least with the SatNav you can switch it off.
Thursday, 1 January 2009
Back Again
It's been funny not writing the blog, a conversation interrupted really and a discovery, from the number of people who have commented on the fact that I have stopped blogging that people are reading it.
Sad news just now of the death another of my flock at Cragg means that next week I will probably conduct three funerals in this parish of 600 people, quite significant really, all ways round, not least in that they were all lovely people.
John Donne's no man is an island, which calls for us all to consider that when the bell tolls it tolls for us is particularly poignant for this little communities, where we can't afford to lose people.
So another prayer for another bereaved family and after the briefest of respites the vocation makes its call back to work.